Newsletter Archive

APRIL 2008

What Does It Mean to Be a Team Player?
  
"Team player" is a common job requirement that can be very confusing to people with Asperger's Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD). What, exactly, you might wonder, qualifies as good team work? 
 
Essentially a "team player" is someone who can get along with other people in the workplace. You don't need to be highly extroverted, have outstanding social skills, or particularly enjoy interacting with others to become part of an office team.
 
One essential requirement is listening to and respecting the ideas of other people - whether you agree with those ideas or not. One of my clients realized that he was alienating colleagues by making sarcastic puns about what he considered to be their "shallow" corporate expressions. Now if someone in a team meeting uses an expression like "creating synergies," he responds positively by saying something like, "Here's how I think we can get the most out of our combined efforts."
 
If you find yourself resisting or challenging the ideas of others most of the time, you're not being a team player and are very likely viewed by your co-workers as someone who is hard to get along with. In this case challenge yourself to find something that's true or positive about the opposing view so that you won't feel as tense or annoyed.
 
Another aspect of teamwork is clear communication. Don't assume that other people see a situation like you do or will draw the same conclusions. Allan presumed that his colleagues "knew" that the extra time he put into an emergency task meant that Allan's design project would be delayed. His co-workers, however, thought that everything was on schedule because Allan hadn't mentioned any problems. At his annual review, Allan was citied for not communicating well with his team.
 
A team player is willing to interact. Although David finds it exhausting, he makes himself available several hours a day to answer questions from co-workers and limits his time working behind a closed office door. The amount of involvement with others will vary depending on your job, but some interaction will be expected in virtually every employment situation.
 
Conveying enthusiasm shows that you're part of the team. You can do this by limiting negative comments, listening without interrupting, disagreeing in a respectful way (say, "I see it differently," not, "That's stupid!") and smiling. Neurotypicals place a high value on social relationships and even something as simple as a smiling and saying "good morning" signals your willingness to be part of the group.
 
Know the difference between stated and unstated objectives. People with Asperger's and NLD find it quite confusing to reconcile a stated objective like "create a top-quality Widget" with unstated objectives like "keep production costs low," or "launch in time to meet second quarter revenue goals." Literal interpretations can cause misunderstandings. Donna, for instance, spent many hours writing top-quality documentation because she didn't realize that the team's real (unstated) priority was to ship the product early, even if that meant settling for "very good" instead of "excellent" documentation.
 
Unstated objectives are a nuance of neurotypical communication, not dishonesty. I advise my coaching clients to clarify expectations by stating their understanding of what's required (preferably in writing) and asking for verification. For example, "It's my understanding is that a three-page outline is due by the 10th; is that correct?" If you're uncertain, ask ("I'm not sure what the priorities are and want to review my project list").
 
Some jobs and company cultures demand much more team work than others. Get help from a family member, coach, teacher or other trusted person if you are unclear about how to effectively relate to others.
 

Remember that team work is primarily about listening, compromising and communicating and these are skills that you can learn and improve with practice. 

  
© 2008 by Barbara Bissonnette, Forward Motion Coaching