Newsletter Archive

FEBRUARY 2008

Confidence
  
Nearly all of my coaching clients include confidence-building on their list of goals. Some want to build their confidence at interviewing; others want to be confident about choosing the right career path; while others want to be more assured about their job performance.
 
Since the workplace poses so many challenges, individuals with Asperger's Syndrome and NLD can find themselves in a confidence-deflating cycle of multiple job losses, under-employment, or unemployment.
 
No matter what your current situation is, it's possible to increase your self-confidence and thus your likelihood of career success. Here are some ideas and tips that you can try, either on your own or with the help of a coach, mentor, teacher, family member or friend.
 
Try something new. If your efforts are not yielding the results that you want, it's time to make some changes. Have you spent months responding to help wanted ads with few or no interviews? Then you may need to revise your resume and cover letter. Perhaps you've had lots of interviews but no job offers. This is a signal to revise your interviewing techniques. Continuing to do what's not working is guaranteed to lower self-confidence!
 
Practice. I've had clients who initially felt so anxious about making a mistake or who were so convinced that nothing would work that they resisted practicing necessary skills. When Mark finally agreed to take the single step of practicing better eye contact, he discovered after a few weeks that it came more naturally to him and he then felt ready to work on interviewing skills.
 
Go for small wins. Instead of trying to become proficient at making small talk, for example, start with something manageable like greeting members of your work group every morning for two weeks. Small steps greatly increase your chances of success and every victory makes it easier to tackle bigger goals.
 
Let go of perfection. Be certain that your goals are realistic and be willing to learn from mistakes. Put mistakes into perspective (or have someone help you do this). An error can be truly critical, somewhat important, or trivial.
 
Use SMART goals. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable, and Time-Oriented. With this model you'll set realistic goals - a prerequisite for success and greater confidence.
 
Here's an example of SMART goals based on Jeff's goals of finding a technical writing job:
 
The specific goal is "Become a technical documentation writer in a software firm located within 30 miles of my home."  The measurement of when the goal has been reached is "full time employment." Jeff determined that his goal was achievable after discovering that there were several growing companies within 30 miles of his apartment. If Jeff had not found any software companies, then he would have needed to revise his original goal, perhaps by increasing his commuting distance to 45 miles.
           
Jeff then looked at whether his goal was reasonable. It can be very helpful at this stage to get some feedback from someone you trust. What skills, resources, education, contacts, experience and other criteria do you need to reach your goal? How likely is it that you can get them? The final step for Jeff was to set a time frame of 8 months for landing a full time position.
 
Remember, confidence is a process that happens over time, with consistent effort, and tends to work best with a succession of small steps.

© 2008 by Barbara Bissonnette, Forward Motion Coaching