Newsletter Archive

JANUARY 2010

Executive Function at Work, Part Five:
Asking for Help

This is the fifth in a series of articles about managing executive function challenges at work. Executive function relates to a person's ability to plan, prioritize, manage time, comprehend the big picture, change course and make good decisions.  

While asking for help is not an executive function per se, it is a skill related to effective time management and good decision-making. Some individuals with Asperger's Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD) ask for help too often, however most do not ask often enough and suffer performance problems as a result.

Some of my coaching clients avoid asking for help out of fear that they will appear incapable or "dumb." Others are convinced that theirs is the right way to solve a problem and try the same solution again and again, even though it is not working. Still others are unsure of who to ask, or become overwhelmed with anxiety, and do nothing.

This month in the Asperger's & NLD Career Letter, Malcolm Johnson shares some of his strategies for deciding whether, when and how often to ask for assistance on the job. Malcolm is the founder of the Asperger Management Web site (www.Aspergermanagement.com) and author of the book Managing With Asperger Syndrome. He lives in Great Britain and was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in his mid-thirties.

"There is a need to strike an appropriate balance between asking for assistance and not becoming too dependent on others. It is a balance that I have often struggled to get right," says Malcolm. "Having Asperger's Syndrome complicates the situation. There is the danger of attempting to do things whilst not be being qualified and fully prepared and not only of failing but appearing 'arrogant.' "

He continues, "The reason for this is not wanting to publicly acknowledge limited competence and to conceal any difficulties to avoid appearing incapable or foolish. This makes the person with Asperger's Syndrome appear arrogant and inflexible."

Here is Malcolm's checklist for deciding when to ask for help:

1. I proactively learn as much as I can independently and practice new tasks outside of work wherever possible. This helps prevent asking others for assistance unnecessarily, especially when I am under pressure. Like most people with Asperger's Syndrome, pressure creates anxiety for me. When I am anxious I cannot learn effectively; I cannot see the "forest from the trees."

2. If I have not done something before, and am uncertain about how to go about it, then I find an analogous example and use that as a benchmark. I then explain to colleagues what I have learnt and what additional actions I will add later when I repeat the process.

3. If I need to ask somebody for assistance I do so. I make notes afterwards about what they suggest for future reference, to avoid going back to them. I also make sure that I thank them and acknowledge their expertise, knowledge and contribution; this helps keep them on my side going forward.

4. I gauge carefully who I can ask for assistance. If I suspect that someone may be reluctant or unwilling to assist, or may portray me in negative terms, then I avoid approaching them. This is especially true with influential people or "Important Others" (the individuals within a business who exert disproportionate influence). Asking Important Others too often or unnecessarily for assistance can, I have found, have enormous, negative repercussions. It will create an impression of lack of competence.

5. I try only to take on tasks when I am ready and say "no" if I feel they are outside of my capabilities.

6. Finally, I try hard to fight any feelings that having Asperger's Syndrome makes me in any way inferior or less than capable. Doing so prevents me from taking on tasks for which I am unprepared and means that I ask for help when I genuinely need it.

Malcolm concludes, "It's about getting the balance right: being seen to have the humility to ask for assistance when I need it, but not seen as less capable by seeking it when I do not."

Remember that good managers "know what they don't know" and seek ideas, advice and answers from others. It not only saves time but helps build relationships with co-workers. 

© 2010 by Barbara Bissonnette, Forward Motion Coaching